Breaking the Stigma Around Stay-at-Home Moms

Today’s post was written by Frankie Wallace.

Stay-at-home mothers often get stereotyped. It’s easy for people to think moms who stay home with their kids have it easy, or they don’t have to deal with the same kind of stress as mothers who work outside the home do. They get to wake up when they want, don’t have to worry about dressing up for work, and can enjoy the comforts of home all day.

Sound familiar?

If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you’ve probably heard all of those stereotypes (and more) before, and it’s easy to feel frustrated. You know the work you put in each day if you’re trying to tackle a career at home. Even if you’re not bringing home a paycheck, you might feel exhausted by the end of each day just from taking care of your children and your house.

So, what can you do as a mother to break the stigma? How can you ignore stereotypes and keep your sanity when it feels like you’re working multiple full-time jobs? Let’s cover a few ideas that can help you feel more like yourself again, fight back against stigmas, and enjoy everything your choice to stay at home has to offer.

Establishing a Healthy Routine

Routines are important for kids and adults alike. As a stay-at-home mom, it might sometimes feel like your day is all over the place. Unfortunately, that’s one thing that feeds people’s stereotypes. They might think you can get out of bed whenever you want, watch television with your child all day, and lay around in your pyjamas.

You can fight back against those ideas by establishing a daily routine for you and your little ones. Your day might start before theirs, and that’s actually a good thing! Waking up before your kids each day allows you to have some much-needed “me time”, even if it’s just to have a cup of coffee, read, or exercise.

Kids will also thrive on routine. It gives their day more structure and makes it easier to set and keep expectations. Your daily routine should include things like:

• Waking up at the same time each day
• Having breakfast with your kids
• Spending some time outside
• Doing something educational
• Trying a craft or art project with your kids
• Dedicating some time to household chores
• Going to sleep at the same time each night

Structuring your days will make it easier for you to set specific working hours if you have a remote position. Your child can work on a craft or get their chores done while you’re working, and you’ll be able to dedicate yourself to spending time with them when those hours are up.

It can also be a good idea for both you and your children to spend some time out of the house each day. Things like afterschool programs are great ways for you to get some alone time, and they can help to further your children’s education, especially as they learn specific skills.

Your routine doesn’t have to be the same as everyone else’s. Try different things to find what works best for you and your family, and stick with it as much as possible.

Keeping Your Kids Busy

A lot of stay-at-home moms struggle with guilt. You might feel overwhelmed with having to come up with creative things to do each day while keeping your house in order. You might even feel guilty that you have to work from home when your child wants your attention and doesn’t understand why you can’t play with them all day. Far too often, that leads to allowing your children more screen time than you might want to.

The good news? You don’t have to be a “crafty” person to keep your kids busy each day. With a bit of creativity, imagination, and a willingness to get on their level, you can keep children of all ages busy without letting them sit in front of the television all day.

While giving kids toys is great for keeping them stimulated, many only hold interest for a few minutes. If you need to get other things done around the house, get creative with the toys your kids already have, or create different independent games that will keep them occupied for quite a while. Stuck trying to think of ideas? Try some of these suggestions from the New York Times:

• Give them a goal and set a timer for them to achieve it
• Let them play with water in bowls and plastic containers
• Create a fort and bring their toys inside
• Give them chores that can double as a game or “mission”

Any type of art project can also take up more time and let your child’s creativity shine. Traditional art supplies like crayons and markers are great. Having an “art bin” will make it easy for your kids to grab whatever they need for their next masterpiece. As a bonus, you can choose one of your favourite drawings each week and hang it on the wall or refrigerator. If you don’t want to deal with the mess of traditional art supplies, try a digital sketchbook or virtual painting.

Consider your kids’ natural interests when it comes to keeping them occupied throughout the day. If they like music, sign them up for lessons. If they’re into sports, join one! Not only will encouraging their passions help to motivate them, but it will provide more structure to your days and keep them busy for longer periods.

Taking Care of Yourself

It’s pretty easy to see that most stay-at-home moms aren’t lounging around in their pyjamas all day. In fact, you might feel stressed more often than not. It’s a physically and emotionally-demanding job with very little “me” time involved.

But, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

One of the best things you can do as a stay-at-home mom is to practice self-care. It doesn’t make you selfish, and it doesn’t mean you’re “fitting in” with the stigma. Taking care of yourself will reduce stress, lower your risk of depression, and improve your mood and energy levels. You’ll have an easier time being calm around your kids and not “snapping” when something goes wrong or someone is misbehaving.

Practicing self-care doesn’t require a lot of time or money. It’s about finding time every day to do something specifically for you – no one else. That might include exercising, meditating, or even meeting a friend for a cup of coffee. It also should include basic healthy habits, like getting enough sleep and fueling your body with nutritious foods. On the weekends, take a bit of extra time for yourself to rest and recharge. Ask your partner to pitch in a bit more on those days, so you have more time to prepare yourself for the week ahead.

Some people will always believe the stigma around stay-at-home and work-from-home moms. But, you don’t have to fall into those stereotypes, and you can certainly push back against them with your actions. Try these ideas to make your choice to stay at home better (and easier) for you and your kids.

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