September Roundup and Linky

September is the beginning of a new season, spring, and the inspirational writing from South African mom bloggers keeps coming! So sit back and have a good read of some of the cream of this month’s postings. (mostly taken from the Facebook page)

This month we look at the gender of the child, keeping a child back at school and mommy meltdowns. We look at a variety of moms from the working, to stay at home to the work from home.

Some bloggers have some supportive words on marriage for their other halves.

We have sad posts of death and disease. I have to admire a blogger who turns bad news (cancer) into a post about useful herbs and spices to help.

There is so much other stuff.. but you will just have to read it all.

Oh and congrats Shaney on your baby. 🙂

(Hey and if you haven’t yet joined Mommy’s Me Time – a Facebook group like a blog reader- what are you waiting for?)

 

Pregnancy

Shanay has a Bittersweet Goodbye to Pregnancy – about the things she liked and that which she didn’t. I love the photos in this post as well.

Birth

She has also written about That moment I met my son. Congratulations, Shaney, on your bundle of joy!

For pregnant moms there’s a useful post: Packing Your Hospital Bag from Sharna.

Leigh has an interesting post on Thoughts on supporting young or vulnerable mothers or mothers to be. She basically makes the point that a young, unmarried or unprepared pregnancy often results in the grandparents taking over and disempowering the mother.

NICU

Sharna has a useful post  Surviving the NICU.

Parenting

Robyn has this very useful post: What every parent needs to hear.There’s a lot of good meat in this post, you need to read the whole thing. I liked

You don’t have to be the perfect parent, as long as you strive to parent YOUR child as perfectly as you know how. It isn’t a competition or a race, it’s the delicate process of growing a human. Your garden. Your flower. How you make it bloom and  grow is up to you.

Love this post from Cassie: Job Description of  a Mom. She has some quotes which I’m sure you’ve read before, but an interesting conclusion.

And then just when I figured I had this whole Mom Job down to a semi sane, fine art, Ladybug decided to have a moment.  In my (infinite) wisdom I asked her what I needed to do to stop this moment – her moment included her sitting in the passage with her knees pulled up and her arms hugging her knees. Her response was simple… “Make me happy”

Such a simple wish, such a simple instruction, such a simple job description… Make me happy. And just like that Ladybug has summed up what being a Mom is actually about, its about making ME happy. How you choose to get there, how you choose to do it is completely up to you, only you have the manual on how to get there, what methods work for you or don’t work for you. But the outcome is the same… make me happy!  The me can be Ladybug, the me can be me, whoever, its about making me happy!

Some lessons from Tanya on Why Danish parents and kids are so happy

Well done Cassan on this publication on 1africa: The distracted mom

These distractions are stealing precious moments from my son, as well as from me. It burdens me because I know that time with your little ones are so precious, and you will never get them back. Therefore I intend to fight for them, to protect them, honour them and to savour them!

Gender

Leigh has an interesting reflection on having boys: Boys will be boys.

I may have longed for what I thought was going to make me “more” happy, but the reality is that I couldn’t be happier than with what I have now, right in front of me in the form of two gorgeous little boys. So often we think we know what we want, what we need and what we will be “better” at, but the reality is that God knows us better than we know ourselves. He knew I needed these boys and that if ever there was a moment of hind site it’s now, realizing these boys are the perfect fit for me.

School

Sharon has a post How to know if you should keep your child back a year. As an ex Grade One teacher who watched certain younger kids being pushed through, and not coping either academically or emotionally, I would say if you’re thinking about this, go and read her post, especially if your child is born towards the end of the year.

Mommy meltdown

I wrote a post on this (Which is worse: A Mommy Meltdown or a Toddler Tantrum?).

If you’re having a mommy meltdown, take heart: you are not the only one. Just remember to learn from it so that you can do better than a tantrum toddler next time!

Also a great post from Cassan: When your toddler brings out the toddler in you.

I  want him to understand it – the emotions he is feeling, and I want him to learn how to not completely break and fall apart in those overwhelming moments. This I know, will take time, it will take patience, and it will take a whole of grace, and Jesus!

Marriage

Wenchy has a touching tribute to her husband on If I should fall behind, wait for me.

I may not be your first love, but I suspect you kept the best for last.

I like this post from Alet on Marriage Defined in 3 Words – she has collected many from the humourous to the profound. Then she gives her own advice:

My three words: “Love Him Kindly”

Being humble, gentle and patient requires an act.  There is action in loving.  There is action in choosing to be true to the promised you made on your wedding day.  Giving advice is the easy part.  Living out the marriage advice is a whole different story.

Health

After some bad news, Amelia has this useful post Fighting Cancer from the kitchen. Really interesting info on the benefits of some herbs and spices.

Maz has some tips for burnout on Running On Empty: Burnout Warning Signs and Tips

On the days we are running on empty. On the days we just don’t think we have it in us to read one more story, play one more game or do one more load of washing. On the days when we think everyone else has it together. On the days we’re sure anyone else would do this job better. On the days where it is too hard to get out of bed… Just know that you are not alone.

Death

Our Dad blogger, Mark, writes about the death of his mother in Being Single, Thinking Double: Death in the Family.

I was sitting in the waiting rooms when the doctor called and said “I think you need to come in right now”. I walked into the room to find her in such distress, she was struggling to breath, I could see the pain and fear in her eyes, she could not speak. I took her hand and said “it’s ok mom, you can go, we will all be ok” her breathing slowed, she closed her eyes and she was gone…

She remains in my heart and I am certain in my psyche, her kind manner and unbelievable strength especially through her illness will always have a strong influence on me. I know her spirit is present in my own daughter who, though never having met her, carries her it with her in her heart and soul.

Inspirational

Paul has a good one on The Ebb and Flow of Life

I still believe that we write our own scripts, that no matter what curveballs life may throw at us we still have a choice as to how we will react. You know the old “when life gives you lemons” shpiel? And really, the most difficult part of getting out of a slump is simply tricking your own mind into doing so.

Sharon has a good post for  us stressed out moms: I fail … all the time and I’m trying to learn to #Let Go. She has a link to a good video in the post.

The overwhelming pressure to be everything to everyone and failing to achieve the impossible.

What the hell, it’s time to let it go!

Another one on this topic from Mandy: There is value in no, there is power in yes.

The message from me today is this, you absolutely have to know when to say no. It is a word with intrinsic value that will help you maintain control of your own life. If somebody is going to disappear from your life because suddenly you aren’t agreeing to do anything and everything for them anymore, that person can’t disappear fast enough, they are NOT somebody you need in your life. But trust your instincts, and when something with the potential to change your view of the world comes along – say yes.

Belinda has a post I love There is Beauty in the Breakdown. 

Because here’s the thing: I only found my true voice once I’d lost my Mom. For years I’d wanted to write, but there was a blockage there for some reason. And losing my mother opened it up. It picked a scab and all the words started to flow out. Losing my mother found me my voice. It introduced me to all of you. And there is both beauty and sadness in that. Beauty in that I finally started to realise my true potential. And immense sadness because she never got to see it.

This doesn’t only apply to losing people you love. It could be losing your job. Or being in an accident. Something profound. Something that pushes you deeply out of your comfort zone. You have no choice but to adapt and what I’ve seen is that this can transform people in the most exceptional way. And present them with the most amazing opportunities.

There’s beauty in being weak. In being bashed around by life. In letting go. Because it turns you into something stronger. Into a more powerful version of yourself. It cracks open your universe and presents you with infinite and rich possibilities.

Bianca’s bike ride afforded her some lessons in Life Lessons From My First Mountain Bike Ride With My Husband.

Sometimes, we have an expectation about something and when the plans change or obstacles get in our way, we react to it and have a strong resistance to the changed plan. We try push and push for things to happen the way we want them to, the way it was all planned out in our heads and the more we push, the more it feels like we’re going in the wrong direction and things are ‘riding’ against us. We’re so set on the destination that we forget about the journey. So sometimes, when plans change, we need to learn to go with the flow. If the plans change, change with them. Change the course, take a bit of time out, do something else before going back and trying again. This is a lesson I am constantly learning.

Stacey has a good one I needed: On learning to “just be” in an ocean of “do”.

 

 

Maz writes  In the Quiet Moments.

It’s early in the morning, the sun is just starting to rise. I’m the only one awake, I can hear my husband’s gentle snoring and my son’s deep breaths. I get up to check on my daughter and get ready for work… before I leave I memorize my children’s sleeping faces. They are so quiet, so peaceful, so beautiful. I get into the car on my way to work and the wave starts to sweep over me. I’m not home enough, this life is not enough, time is not enough. 

Celeste has a good one on 10 things that working moms need to know or do to stay sane.

Stay at home moms

Laura has a nice list on What no one tells you about being a stay at home mom.

You will start conversations with random strangers. The lady at gym will ask  “How are you?”, like she does with everyone and you will still be standing their 10 minutes later telling her just how you are. Cashiers aren’t safe, petrol attendants are safe and depending on your fragile state of mind, no one who makes eye contact with you is safe.

WAHM

The real WAHMs of SA – Lyndsay on Faith is a guest post on Eleanor’s blog.

This isn’t just about her story, but also a quote about how she had to take that leap of faith.

Loss/ Darkness

Sharon has an incredible post about remembering her pregnancy loss: Sometimes  Darkness Can Show You The Light: Reflections on My Greatest Life Struggle 13 Years On

Sometimes finding our light means looking deep within ourselves, perhaps changing direction or redefining what it is we think we want. I’ve learned that sometimes finding the light, doesn’t mean getting what we want, how we want it either. I’ve also learned that the answers I’m looking for start out as a whisper in my soul and get louder and louder the longer I tune into them.

Joy

Robyn has this powerrul post Finding Joy Where You Are.

However, joy springs from something deep inside of you. It starts off as a choice, and then burgeons into a belief. It is spurred on by faith and it is not moved by or dependent on circumstance. It is not dictated by your mood or your feelings or the number of snotty tears you cry. Joy remains unshakable in the wake of trials. Joy says I believe that even though this situation sucks right now, God is still the King of the world. He has overcome this. He is on the throne. Whether you like it or not, God’s Will, will be done. And God’s will is always good, is always favourable, is always blessing.

Another good one from Celeste: Last night I watched my daughter shine and had my own big revelation

She was living the moment, this one moment.  She was living in the now and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I am not ever-living in the now.  I am living in constant stress and worry, I do not enjoy anything anymore. I want to be more like my daughter.  I want to shine and live in the now! I want to live my life-like I am on the stage doing my part in the revue dance.  I want to be like that.  I learnt a very valuable lesson from not only my beautiful daughter last night but from the other nine hundred and ninety-nine kids too.  I realised that time is precious and is best left spent living each moment to its fullest.  It can be gone in an instant.

Heritage Day

Celeste shares what she is up to on this day in A rich heritage, a braai and a blog roundup.

I plan on spending the day at home just taking in my children and my husband.  It has been a very rushed and busy couple of weeks and there has been little time to just connect and find each other and touch base. Connecting with your children especially as a working parent is super important.  So often we are just so buys and active that we sail past each other like ships in the night just doing the absolute necessary to get by. So because Family is heritage I will be making sure that my family and I spend the time together listening, talking and connecting again.

Jolene also has the information on Why Heritage Day is Referred to as Braai Day.

Humour

Laverne has Baby Milestones mothers will not post on social media. I’d have to agree about the baby falling off the bed one.

Could so relate to Cindy’s How to get your kid to sleep in their own bed in 35 easy steps.

You have to watch Mike’s A Smooth Dad and a Blended Family videos, I don’t know how he comes up with these things!

Maz has Things My Four Year Old Kid Saiz. I guess because I am going through the potty training thing I could relate to

“Oh, I don’t need a poo anymore! I’m going to keep it for tomorrow! My bum doesn’t work in stinky places.”

Money Saving Tips

Great grocery tips from Charlotte in Living from Paycheck to Paycheck does not have to be a bad thing.

Legals

If you have an ex not paying maintenance, maybe you should red Maz’s post: New Law… Not paying your child maintenance.

Poetry

Ursula writes about how the past caught up with her while she was searching through old photos. Photos, Pain and Past – Poetry

I am surrounded
By shards of pasts
The crystal ball exploded without future
I cut myself on the glass of now
Leaving more scars
To trace tomorrow
with sad fingers.

Blogging

Such a nice post from Eleanor about SA Mom Blogs: You Should Be Starting Your Day With Us

And then we had Sharon’s unfortunate On dealing with Trolls.

This post reminded me why we blog: to support each other. In Mom Guilt and Thankfulness, Chastin says: