{Honest Women} We have SIX children

I am Lelia, 37 years old Mommy to four sons and two daughters; aged 18, 16, 13, 11, 4 and 11 months.

I run a small business distributing attachment parenting aids: co sleeper cots, ring slings, muslin, Baltic amber amongst other things. I run a Facebook public page and help out in an international group aspiring to encourage and elevate the parent-child relationship.

I love the ocean, picnicking at nature reserves or pretty places, photography, reading, learning and so much more. Exercise is my stress-reliever. Music gets me through everything.

I became a Mommy at 19 years. He was not planned by me, but he was the first of the best things ever to happen to me. I moved to Port Elizabeth shortly before his first birthday and married his Daddy. Parenting without family or friends was challenging.  I underwent a surgery to remove cysts on my ovaries and fallopian tubes and was told it was unlikely that I would conceive again. I fell pregnant the next month with my second son. They were born two years apart. My second birth was an empowering experience for me.

The transition from one child to two was a big adjustment for me. I wish I had had help or encouragement. It was overwhelming sometimes. But I was devoted and after a year it was really fun as the brothers played so well together.

My husband worked long hours and I lived out on a farm quiet isolated from others. My two older boys got on so well. We planned a third baby.  I miscarried at 18 weeks. That was very sad. But I fell preggy soon after and despite a first emergency c-section he was  a healthy boy!  I had a four year old, 2 year old and newborn. Three sons!  It was so much work but I adjusted quicker and had got better at being a Mommy. 🙂 I loved being pregnant, breastfeeding and raising children. The jump from two kids to three was easier on me emotionally but the work load was quiet a lot more. Also we needed a bigger car and dining room table etc. 🙂 but those things did not impact our decision at all.  My longed-for first daughter was born when my sons were 7, 5 and 3. The boys went to school so this was the first time I had mornings alone with a newborn baby. I also had a nanny to help me. This makes a big difference with so many little children. They played beautifully most of the time and things were loud, crazy, messy and magical.

Four children do cost so much money. BUT they are my life, love, best friends, favorite people and my enlighteners.

I am remarried to a peaceful strong man, Wesley who is a daily-committed bonus dad to my four eldest children and fathers my youngest two children.

Our first born baby (my 5th child) was planned. We knew it was a huge financial stretch but given that Wes is a full-time dad and provider for four of my children , I felt it fair to give him one biological child. Our second baby was not planned. He is a miracle baby with a long story of how he came to be.

Six children means everything is BIG. Our expenses and our joys. Everything is MESSY. Everything is interesting and fun and there is so much laughter and love. I have worked hard to foster trust, respect and kindness for each other. Tolerance and grace is needed daily.  My older children have transformed beautifully and dote on their younger siblings. The babies look up to their older siblings. They are heroes in their eyes. We cannot always give our children what they need financially. Time is shared. But I believe what they lack in material possessions they gained in life-skills and character.

I have been a Mommy now for 18 years but I still make mistakes. What I have learnt is that perfect PARENTING is about being a better parent today than I was yesterday. Whether we have one child or many parenting is relationship.

So I work hard on building a relationship with each unique child.

Every relationship flourishes with trust and respect. And of course feeling unconditionally loved and appreciated fosters trust and respect. We have to re-learn what discipline really is. Self-discipline should be the focus. And we cannot enforce self-discipline externally…it needs to be internal. To me discipline is setting a better example, helping, soothing, teaching, leading and always in love.

When we love someone they should feel free.

When we protect someone they should feel safe.

When we lead someone they should feel trust When we discipline someone they should feel loved, safe and led above all else.

Angel Gentle Parenting  is a community page I run for parents looking for encouragement n their unique journey.