This guest post was written by Joan Villanueva.
Every parent dreams of one day having their kids clean their own rooms without being told, right? It may seem farfetched to think that they will help out with the rest of the housecleaning as well without anyone prompting them, but I want to share with you how I made it happen. It wasn’t quick or necessarily easy, but I think almost anyone can adapt my methods and do the same thing.
1. I Started with a Gentle Introduction to house cleaning
Let me tell you that my first steps to get my kids to help with cleaning were full of mistakes and failed attempts. I tried bribing them; I tried personally overlooking everything they cleaned; and I even did some shouting. I can’t say that all my ideas were good ones or well thought out, but it helped me to develop a strategy to start with.
I realized quickly that my kids did not pick up cleaning as easily as I thought they would. They needed to be trained, so I trained them. I showed them how to use a broom, because their natural inclination was to use it the wrong way. They didn’t know how to clean windows in a way that didn’t leave streaks behind, so I had to show them that too.
When my teaching failed, I resorted to using YouTube tutorials. That worked really well and engaged them at their level. They started to pick up the basics quickly, and it help that I learned to be patient with them and give them as much instruction as needed in a gentle way.
2. I Graduated to Rewards
We started room cleaning as a task to be done, but I learned that my kids responded really well to rewards for good work. I wanted to be careful about giving them rewards for doing basic stuff that they should be doing anyway, so I only gave them rewards for exceptional work. If I could not find a single toy on the floor and their clothes stayed picked up for a week, I gave them five dollars. If they kept their room clean for a month, they got an extra hour of game time on the weekend.
These rewards worked well because they catered to my kids’ interests and made their efforts feel appreciated. Everyone likes to feel like they have done a good job and like their work has been noticed. The rewards sparked their interest and made them think about the benefits of a clean room. They will later learn some benefits that adults already know, but for now, they understand the reward system well, and it works for us.
3. I Help Them Out Occasionally
Sometimes, the housework can get really tough. I understand that my kids have test days and long nights of homework and outdoor activities that make it tough for them to keep a clean room. I also know that the messiness of a room can get out of control and make a kid feel overwhelmed if they have to clean it. So, I pitch in and do some of the cleaning occasionally.
I also help them as they clean if there is a lot of work to do and they have other responsibilities that day other than cleaning their room. I also have professional cleaning service come and help out from time to time. I found that it is easy to find experts near you who can do all the cleaning in a short amount of time. That is a huge time saver for the whole family.
4. I Expose Them to the Downside of Messiness
One method I found to be very helpful that I didn’t see anyone else talking about online is sharing the impact of messiness with my kids. When they let their rooms get messy or the trash in the kitchen piles up, there would be bad smells or even roaches or other pests. Instead of getting rid of the mess right away, I would take my kids to the mess and show them the result. When they can smell the foul odour for themselves or see the roaches in the house, they want to do something about it. They don’t want it to happen again.
I did the same thing when I found mould in the bathroom and when I found clothes stuck together because they had not been washed in a while. When I talked over the problems with the kids, they could see the benefits of cleaning. They understood that their actions had consequences, and they started to do some cleaning on their own. I was surprised, actually.
I expected them to see greater benefits in cleaning, but I didn’t expect it to spark an interest in them cleaning other parts of the house instead of just their room. They began to take out the kitchen trash and wash the dishes without being told. They developed responsibility because they didn’t like what the absence of responsibility produced. I am very proud of them for that (and proud of myself as well), and I wanted to share that tip with other parents. I think if we as parents take the time to show kids what happens when they don’t clean, they will be more likely to start cleaning without any direction.
Final Thoughts
This was my journey and my process, and yours may be different. If your kids are older, it may be tough to get them to start making good decisions and developing good habits. For those parents, I would say to be patient and be gentle and give your kids time to come around. Take it step by step with them and praise them for what they get right. Focus on their obedience and their good results rather than on the bad things, and you will win them over to your side faster. That is all I have to offer, but I hope it goes a long way toward making your home cleaner and your family more united.
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