What Burnout Really Is

I spent a lovely afternoon at the She-E-O “Reset and Rise” workshop led by Althea Ross (Her Mindset Mentor) and Berni Oosthuisen (Your Motivational Coach). Surrounded by women eager to grow and the luxurious surroundings of the Isango Gate Boutique Hotel & Spa in Summerstrand, it was the perfect place to breathe and allow the reset to happen. What I really walked away with, however, was a greater insight into exactly what burnout is. We think of burnout in a way that we are weighed down by a lot. But it’s more about the purpose than the overload (or the underload, as it happens). It’s when your spirit is not in sync with what your body is doing every day.

Burnout: Because You are Out of Alignment

Essentially, your internal resources are not matching up with external demands. But it’s more than that. It’s when your values, energy and actions are not matching up. Your body is saying no to what is going on.

Types of Burnout

Overload

This is for the person who is always “on.” You have to be perfect. You have unrealistic expectations of yourself. You are pushing yourself past the limits, burning the candle at both ends, and you are heading for anxiety and panic attacks.

Underchallenged

If you are doing monotonous work day in and day out that doesn’t challenge you, you are going to develop apathy and disconnection from what you are doing.

Neglect

This is for the person who feels hopeless and unsupported. They feel like nothing they do will make a difference.

The consequences of burnout

Initially, you might just feel distracted, forgetful and overwhelmed. But then, fatigue, headaches and your gut is affected. Over time, as emotional, mental and physical exhaustion builds, so does inflammation and disease. Your immune system is weakened.

Cortisol is ok in short bursts for survival. But if you’re constantly in flight or flight mode, your creativity goes offline, you lose your joy, your hope, and your body suffers.

Being in alignment

When your work and relationships reflect who you are, you can flow. When you are doing what lights you up, you know you are doing something meaningful and it gives you purpose.

How to get back to who you are

Althea shared with us her “5 R Model:”

1. Recognise that burnout is not a weakness, it’s just you trying to survive. Reflect: what signs of burnout have you noticed?
2. Reveal: notice the stress responses
3. Reframe: ditch the “shoulds” and hustle culture. Rest makes the reset possible.
4. Rewire: Use the reset tools that help you the most. This could be breathing, meditation, prayer, essential oils (these are great because they bypass the noisy chatter of your mind), Emotional Freedom Techniques (there was a time I was really into this, and made a lot of products based on the body mind connection here)
5. Rebuild: Redefine what success means to you. Be realistic about your capacity and ask for help. What do you need to change to move forward?

Berni had a great way to check if we are in alignment. Look at the wheel of life and rate yourself out of ten in each of these categories: health, personal growth, finance, family, career, relaxation, relationships, and spirituality. We were then challenged to pick two categories to work on and have a goal. My two categories are finance and relaxation. It’s kind of weird because I’m working too hard to improve finances, but at the expense of rest, which will help creativity. So my goal is to get out of debt and read a book a month. Reading is something that relaxes me and I need more of that in my life.

Our culture celebrates ambition, money and working hard. But what really matters is to start asking those questions: what is creating exhaustion and resentment in your life? How are you going to honour who you are?

Find your joy

What is it that you really enjoy? What relaxes you and makes you happy? Maybe you need to find a hobby or do more of what you love to bring that purpose back into your life.

We also had fun painting at this workshop and I painted a flower. Art is a creative expression that many of us can utilise, and even those adult colouring books have their place. There was a picture in the the workbook for us to colour in and I was doing that later at Nicky’s chess tournament. I left him there to go to this workshop (yes, it was hard), but important because I needed to make the time for me. He still did well and came third in the Section A Fida in the Bay. He really is my joy, and I feel very blessed to have him in my life.

Thank you

Thank you, Althea, Berni and also Delene Burckardt for the meditation. We were also spoilt with a lovely notebook from First National Bank, a 50% off voucher from She Lifts Personal Training, a Glamour magazine, shampoo and perfume samples from Woolworths and a lovely rose quartz stone.

Final affirmations

As a final note, a card from Delene was fitting for me: Acceptance.

Don’t watch the clock. Do what it does. Keep going. Don’t wait for something to happen first so you can do what needs to be done. Learn from the clock to keep going, no matter what the situation is.

I am a perfect reflection of my beautiful soul. I am loved and accepted. Nothing can disturb my inner peace.

Photography at the event by Francios Masuabi FVM Media – he really did amazing pictures.