{Guest Post} Growing With Your Marriage

This post was written by South African mom blogger Prudence Cele, who blogs at Ms Dzo.

Oh how I love spring: beautiful flowers, rain, sunshine and warmth; everything about this season is wonderful. It is a physical reminder of the seasons in our lives that come and go; winter seemed like it was going to last forever especially when you have a toddler who catches a cold every now and again. But guess what? it didn’t last forever and spring is here and it will also not last forever. It has to make way for summer. The trick is not to get too attached to the season as it is just passing by, we must learn from it and prepare ourselves for the next season in our lives. One of my old time favourite artists is Lauryn Hill and one of her songs come to mind:

“Everything is everything
What is meant to be, will be
After winter, must come spring
Change, it comes eventually”

On the 21st of September 2017 , we celebrated our fourth year anniversary and in the same month we welcomed the latest addition to our family: our baby girl Thandolwethu Cele. In the first year of our marriage, I didn’t think in four years we would be parents to two human beings (yes maybe a pet or two but not two people). This has been an adventure from the moment I met Sweet-One. We were the most unlikely couple to get married because of our different religious backgrounds; only God knew he would be the father of my babies and the King to my heart (lord Charles).

In our first year of marriage we received lots of advice; we also had some people tell us to enjoy the honeymoon while it lasted as if it was downhill from then on. But the one advice I didn’t understand then which I have grown to understand now was by Phumzile Letsosa (yes Phumi I do listen when you speak). She said “Grow with your marriage”. At the time I was thinking uPhumi wants us to be boring in the next few years or something.

Four years later this is what I think she meant, like with everything in life marriage goes through different seasons and each season has a purpose. When it was just the two of us I understood love to be butterflies in my stomach, buying me ice cream at whatever crazy hour I asked, taking out my braids, going out every other night and the excitement of planning the next getaway. Matured love on the other hand is; pregnancy back rubs, taking turns staying up when the baby is sick, paying the mortgage, changing nappies kinda love. It doesn’t mean you don’t buy ice cream or plan getaways anymore. It means your love has evolved into something more meaningful. You don’t just spend money and time anymore; you invest it in your family. In fact , romantic getaways and dressing up to go out just the two of you is an investment you need to make so you can continue being great lovers and good parents. When we first got married I didn’t understand the concept of date night; I mean we go out for breakfast, and the next day it’s dinner, why do you need to plan it? Now I can safely say couples must make date night a priority.

If you do not make time to bond with one another you can lose your wife to motherhood and your husband to fatherhood. Share on X

When you express your love for each other you produce human beings as a product of your love and affection, and that is a beautiful gift. Children are a gift from God and a blessing, but they are also romance killers. If you do not make time to bond with one another you can lose your wife to motherhood and your husband to fatherhood. Being parents brings another dimension to your marriage, it tests your tolerance and patience but it also brings a joy and love for your family that you can never get from anything else.

I am not the woman I was when we met and I am not the woman I was when we got married, and he is not who he was either. We are more patient, wiser, more considerate and we are a few kilograms heavier than we were 😆 . I am a much bolder person than I was, thanks to my brave Sweet-One. He has encouraged me to do things I never thought I would ever do. Becoming parents made us to realise human beings can function on four hours of sleep  😉 but it  has also made us realise how much love we have to give.

As we celebrate our 4 years of marriage I look forward to the next level of growth and learning together; I will write about having a family of four soon. I am sure it is going to be an adventure. The reason this remains the best advice is because she didn’t tell me how I should be a perfect wife or how things will be hard as soon the honeymoon was over. What she did was prepare me for the different seasons while keeping a positive outlook. Growth is defined as an act or process of gradual increase. Growth means increase in value. Whatever season your marriage is in, one thing is for sure it can only grow from it. Be sure to grow with it.

 

I am Prudence Lerato “Rirhandzu” Cele. Ms. Dzo is a nick name my darling Lebo Nthathe gave me instead of calling me Randzo which is what most people call me.

I am a believer in love (God), I love serving others through prayer, song and ministering his word it just brings meaning to my life. I believe that prayer changes everything and I will be writing on that too. I’m a wife to lord Charles ‘’Bash’’ Cele. I call him Sweet-One because he just makes life sweeter. I am a mother of two. I play many other roles in my life but the ones above will be the focus of this blog as I believe those are the most important roles.

So, I blog because I believe I have something to say, I blog because I simply want to express what is in my heart. Lastly, I blog because (Ke rata dilo) ‘I simply like things.’

Find Prudence on her blog, on Facebook and Instagram.

Are you a SA mom blogger who would like to share their post on SA Mom blogs? Send your contribution in to heather@samomblogs.co.za.

If you found this post interesting please share it with your friends and remember to follow us on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram and join our awesome group called Mommy’s Me Time.