South African Mom Blogs - November Roundup and Linky

There are some incredible posts this month from South African mom bloggers. We have the posts on timeous events such as adoption, premature babies, water restrictions and the Paris attacks.

I think though, the posts this month that really touched me are those dealing with loss and anxiety. I think something that Stacey said about how it is those moments in between that the anxiety creeps up that just makes so much sense to me. The loss of a baby is also something devastating and those posts brought tears to my eyes.

We also have some seasonal stuff at the end.

Please note that there will be no roundup for December. Instead we will just have a linky for the best posts for the year. So start thinking of your best post now!

A lot of these posts come from the Facebook page – please post there if you want to be featured!

Choices

Chastin has a heartfelt post about Giving Up My Dream Career about how she had to choose between her pregnancy and her studies.

I know there are many woman who face the same decision maybe not in the same way and I want to know you are not alone and that whatever decision you make, if you know in your heart that it was made with the best intention or hope for your family do not regret it and never let anyone make you feel bad for having to make it.

Some woman choose to give up a career completely and stay at home with their children, these woman are often made to feel lazy or that they are not as important because the do not work or would not be able to if they need to at some point and it is so incredibly wrong.

We as woman can only make the best decisions at heart for our family.

Personally I actually don’t see it as giving up my dream it’s more like I formulated a new one, a new journey and a new path, a path that is mine a path that I cherish.

Yelling

Zayaan has a post I think we all can relate to: Confessions of an angry Mommy.

I’m the adult, I should have more control over my reactions than a 2-year-old. I’m trying to be more mindful of my short temper and my reactions. I’m trying to speak calmly even though I may not feel it. To not be angry about the lotion on the sheets. To not lose it when I’ve asked him not to hit the blinds for the 500th time in a row and he’s purely being defiant.

It’s hard. I’m not going to succeed every day. But today showed me that it is possible to be a calmer mommy. And if I can be that at least 80% of the time then hopefully I won’t mess this kid up.

Baby Proofing

If you need tips on this topic go over to Mariette’s post. She has a cool infographic too.

Routines

Want to know How to get more than one kid to bed -STAT- with your sanity still intact? Read Tracey’s post. I liked her suggestion about the timer!

Proud Mama Moments

Laura had two heartfelt posts on her two eldest children and how they made her proud.

In I am raising a man but I am not ready she says:

My first born son is walking closer and closer to the edge of the nest, he is looking out, opening his wings, waiting and watching and calculating when he is going to spread his wings and fly. I am not ready for that moment. I thought I would be! I am the mom telling other moms “your job is to prepare them to leave one day”. While he is not ready to leave just yet, that moment is closer than I am ready for!

In The time my girl child blew my mind (and her own) she says:

For so long she believed she couldn’t. I struggled to understand her. Her teachers couldn’t teach her. She was, in so many ways, walking against the oncoming current.

But here we are – dancing solo and 6th in the grade and she has done it on her own.

World Adoption Day

Sharon has some frightening statistics of orphans in #WorldAdoptionDay – South African Context – My Context.

Today, I remember our birth moms…. I remember our placement days, I remember the contradictions of it…. the joy and the grief, the pain and the awe, a life broken and a family created.

Melinda writes How adoption has changed my life

Against all odds I have two gorgeous, funny, smart, incredible children, who I fought for. I stood up against all the negative comments, I stood up against family and friends dissuading me from going that route. With sheer determination and gritted teeth I did it. And I would have moved heaven and earth if I needed to.

…

I am a mother. Thanks to adoption. I am where I am, because of adoption. I was, and am, an incredibly strong and resilient woman who did, and can, move mountains to achieve what I want.

I know all of this to be true. Because of the best thing I ever did. To believe that blood doesn’t make us family. Love does.

Relationships

Cassan writes: Assumption: The Marriage Killer in which she shares her own experience and tips.

I remember one night, my husband and I were chatting and I started assuming the worst again. My husband ever so gently, yet firmly said to me; “This has got to stop, what you are saying is hurtful and not true!” I immediately broke into tears, because he was right! My words, my actions, the lies I was believing in my heart were hurting him, and they were hurting our marriage! What a wake-up call! I knew then and there enough was enough! I wanted a strong and healthy marriage based on truth, based on love, based on believing in the best of each other, and most importantly based on the promises of God. I knew that I had to get to the root of my unhealthy way of thinking, by addressing the issue! Ever since doing that, it has added so much strength to our marriage, and in turn has blessed us in so many ways!

World Prematurity Month

Maz shares her story Having a Premature Baby … What I will never forget.

I don’t know what to extract from here – there are so many precious memories. Click over and go and read her post.

Chastin also shares her experience here: World Preemie Day

To all the moms who have had a preemie you will know what incredible fighters they are, they are truly amazing and the preemie journey is unlike any other, if you are expecting a Preemie or end up having a premmie please know that you and your precious baby will get through it, ask questions. touch your baby hold them let them know you are there and fill their hearts with your love until you walk out that door with them in your arms and get to take them home.

Loss

Read Anastasiya’s post The Lost One.

I knew of my expectancy for five days. I was excited for a few hours. I will remember this for the rest of my life. I can’t say I’m over it completely. How can you forget a moment in life where you were experiencing the start & the end of a life – inside you?

Heather talks about the loss of her baby in Dear Jamie

We were just shy of 22 weeks together when this picture was taken and not long after is when everything fell apart. Our time together ended and I went through the darkest time in my life. It was something nobody could prepare me for and something that has still not healed completely. I tried this year to work through the latent grief. It has been 7 whole years and I feel like it is time that I start to let go and forgive myself. I still blame myself for so many things. Although I know that we did the right thing for you, it is still difficult to come to terms with. I can hope that I have started to move towards more positive thoughts. I no longer only want memories of you to be painful and I am certain you would not want me to be unhappy. It seems impossible not to feel the pain when looking back, but it was not all bad. You prepared me in a way to be a mother to your siblings.

Water Restrictions

Lots of useful tips from Sharon on You don’t need to shower or bath in groups to be water wise.

A humourous post from Cassie on her daughter’s take on the situation: Water Restrictions to the Extreme

She decided that restricting her bath water to the actual bath was… well… so not going to cut it. Her logic of cause was that now she can clean the floor. So she diligently poured out her bath water…

Melissa also has some useful tips: Ten simple ways to save water I had to laugh at this one:

You don’t have a pool? (Lucky you. When that water goes below the weir, it’s over. No more pump. Hello green.)

Paris Attacks

Belinda writes To Be a Child Again

We have not learnt anything from history. We’re still killing each other. Hating. Hate in the way that horrific acts are committed but then also in how we respond to these tragedies. How we gang together on social media and judge and bully and try and prove that OUR opinions are the best or the most just. It’s all so pointless that it makes my head hurt.

War on terror doesn’t work – this has been proved after over a decade of trying to fight it. But being naive and thinking that a great circle of love will heal the world doesn’t seem to me like a decent plan either. I suppose I just want honesty. For politicians and religious leaders and the common man to engage in open discussions and come up with a new way of solving this problem and this conflict. Perhaps that’s too much to ask.

An post reminding us that each victim was a human and also an inspirational video from Cassey: Scattered thoughts

We need each other. We need to honour those who have been lost. And we need to remember that we are all humans, with quirks and foibles, with love, with passions, with people who we make the world a brighter place for. Choose love, choose hope, be love, be hope.

Anxiety

Cassan shares her experience: Anxiety – the black hole.

Often we tend to try and control everything that is thrown our way. Because we feel that it is our burden to carry alone, we soon feel overwhelmed, and anxious because we are trying so desperately to hold on for dear life without falling apart! When I put the focus on to God, and what he can do in and through my situation, it immediately takes the pressure off of myself. Because I know that he is concerned with the details of my life, and he wants the best for me and he most certainly wants the best for my situation. When I take a moment to sit quietly with God, I surrender every anxious thought, because frankly I am so tired of feeling anxious! I then force myself to focus on Him, to breathe slowly, and I ask Him to carry me through this chaos!

Stacey also shares her experience: Panic at the disco. At the library. And just anywhere really.

I don’t have panic attacks when the clock is ticking.

No, I have panic attacks in between deadlines. When my brain goes offline, and my body decides its safe to release all that pent-up adrenaline in a gush, like a dam bursting. So I’ll be sitting on a beach drinking a pina colada while my heart thumps so hard it feels like that chest-bursting scene in Alien.

Please go and give Sharon some support: Sell crazy some place else.. we’re all stocked up here!

Even in the moments when I thought I was living, I was stressing and worrying about the next deadline, the next task, my to do list, the never ending list of requirements that are placed on me (often by myself) at any given time. I’ve become so obsessed with being a great adult that I lost myself as a person.

Blogging

Sharna has a bit to say about blogging on her blogging anniversary. Happy Ist Birthday , Legally B.

The truth is, blogging is not rubbish, it’s significant. Maybe not to everyone, but to someone. I don’t think any blogger sets out to please everyone. For most bloggers it’s a creative outlet. It’s a virtual memory box for many parenting bloggers. A way for parents to connect and realise that your trials and tribulations are my trials and tribulations as well. A place to go for comfort or a laugh. A place where you’re safe knowing that you’re not alone, another mother somewhere out there also has a screaming toddler attached to her leg.

A bit of humour from Maz: 3 of the best instagram filters to hide the nervous breakdown you deserve.

When you are unshowered, sitting in your pajamas in a pile of laundry, drinking your coffee that has been reheated for the 5th time and scrolling through Instagram and you see someone’s gorgeous filtered photo and feel crap about yourself – let common sense give you a smack on the side of the head, pull yourself together and move on.

Go and give Chevonne a high five for finishing 50 000 words in one month! Yay! I did it! #NaNoWriMo

Holidays

Great tips for travelling from Melissa: Flying with Children

Christmas

There are a few bloggers doing some series like Pregnant in Cape Town, Miss Cass Lee and Harassed Mom where you can pick up some useful tips and shopping suggestions. How cute is the sack and busy bag that Eleanor is making – check it out in PiCT’s post here. (I am buying one for Nicky!)

A cute felt Christmas fine motor activity I found from Nadia: Fine Motor Sorting Christmas trees. She also has a cool Advent calender.

And while we are crafting: here’s a slime recipe from Tracey.

Anastasiya put together a list of what moms really want this Christmas. Bad Mama: Christmas Wishlist. She put together a survey. At the top of the list was “Me Time”. But as it turns out, what she really wants is….

Was the question about what I wanted for Christmas? It seems this is what I want. This is all that I want.
I want my kids to be happy.
I want my kids to be proud of me.
I want my kids to look at me and say “You’re the best mommy.”
I want my kids to look at me and say “I know you’re doing your best, mommy.”
I want my kids to look at me and say “You’re okay and we’re okay, don’t worry so much.”

Link up yours (or your favourite) posts for the month:

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