SA Mom Blog Best Posts: Roundup and Linky for September

Another month, another group of very talented writers!

September’s public holiday was Heritage Day. Jolene goes into the history of this holiday here.

Eleanor reflects on her heritage and how that is reflected in her kids. Our daughters – our beautiful rainbow children – have such a rich heritage in their bloodlines. They have Mommy’s blue eyes, and Daddy’s long legs and curls. 

Sharon talks about her mixed race kids here.  I’d rather we remove the race box from officially forms and documentation because really, what does it matter anyway. I have on occasion completed forms and marked the race box as [other] with human race in the [please specify] area.

Still on the realities of SA, Mandi talks about her hijacking. How do people actually get over this fear? This crazy feeling of having no control.Of having your whole person, life, faith in humanity so intrusively invaded?

 

From the trauma of hijacking to the emotion of grief. There were a few posts on this during this month. This first post is actually not written by a mom, but a lady that I met at the Ladybloggers workshop, and her writing deserves a showcase:

I stumbled around with my pain as though it were a septic limb that I couldn’t get rid of….I was walking down Long Street, a place that I had first discovered with my dad, and overcome with anger and sadness, I cried and cried, my collarbones collecting my tears. Looking back, I think that I felt so alone in the sea of faces and I knew that no matter how many people I saw, my dad would never again be one of those people.

Heather Clancy, on dealing with the death of her father.

Belinda on her mom: The Thing About Grief. She was writing about travelling and it made her remember her trip with her mom. You imagine, before that life-changing moment hits, that grief is a process, but that at some point it is over, finished and klaar, and that you can pack away the sadness like a jersey you’ve outgrown and will never wear again. But it’s not like that. Sure it alters, morphs from something heavy and unbearable into something lighter but it is always there, waiting in the shadows.

A different take on grief is Julia’s post I have been feeling out of sync for the past four months.

I am grieving the loss of my innocence…..

People get sick. Babies die. Parents are not immortal. Sensible people do stupid things that wreck their lives and break up families. Children get hurt. There’s war. And famine. And poverty. And there’s grief. Like depression, grief is really such a bitch. It causes you to lose perspective. It causes you to lose a part of who you are. It makes you question EVERYTHING from your value system to your beliefs. You see who your friends are. You see what your family is made of.And you realise that you CANNOT be an island, even if you want to be one.

Belinda also had an incredible post that I needed to read on her second’s son first haircut and how she just wants to freeze time. Let Time Stand Still Please.

Let time stand still please. Let it fade away while you clutch those chubby arms around my neck and hide your head between my skirts. Let there be no growing up. Remain my baby, do not become a boy. Because as a baby you are mine and I do not have to share you with the world.

She also had an amazing post on Things I Would Tell My 20 Year Old Self. I wish I could do that. Sometimes I wish my older self could give advice to me!  She says: Sometimes I wish I could rewind 15 years and tell you some stuff, so you could stop worrying about the mundane and focus instead on the relevant.

Namreen wrote about the highs and lows of parenting.

Each age and stage sure comes with it’s own set of challenges. We go through periods of comfort and quiet…and every now and again there comes along a horrible stage that sends us spinning and wanting to run for the hills!

(Her pride watching her son perform, seeing his confidence increase has made her realise)...it’s no longer about “getting through a phase”…that I mustn’t just “be there”, but be present through each and every stage…even the bad ones!
A great post on appreciating children’s individuality by Just Ella Bella.

The other day Aidan and I were paging through those “First Word” books and I noticed he doesn’t point out objects and name them like other kids…I was still wondering if this was age appropriate when he did something funny.

He opened the page on food and started pointing at all round items (tomatoes, grapes, egg yolk), he picked them out one by one saying ball, ball, ball – So here I’m so worried he doesn’t say the words I almost missed him picking out the shapes…

I laughed so hard at Cindy’s post 7 Places I never thought I’d change a nappy.

What is the truth? Is it adorned like the Good Wife says? Julia of Unwritten investigates.  I have learned that there is tremendous power in words, in how you use them, in choosing the right moment to use them and in being kind when you use them.  I believe that your words need to speak love and life, and that diplomacy and kindness is NEVER overrated.

How would you choose between your kids? The Stiletto Mom ponders this question after reading about a mom that had to do this. You can say that it was out of your control and you did what you could. But how can you breathe after that?

Amy from The Dummy Mummy reflects on her charity and how different she feels from others in wanting to serve in I sometimes feel like an alien. In the end she wants this legacy for her daughter:

My angel girl, may you serve with an open heart. May you never judge others – as we are all walking our own path and writing our own set of exams. May you ALWAYS be as kind as you are and as sharing as you are (you always share your “weeties” and chips with your friends). May you one day be a revolutionary, caring, giving game changer of our era.

Zombie mom, who did a useful series on kid’s parties, is now embarking on lessons from Disney Princesses. I love what she said about Snow White, because I am also working on getting Nicky to put away:

Snow White isn’t afraid of hard work. Once she moves in with the dwarfs, she cooks for them and keeps their house tidy. My girls need all the encouragement they can get when it comes to tidying their rooms.

I also like her take on Cinderella. If you think about it, Cinderella is rather passive, but the redeeming quality is forgiveness to those who have wronged her.

Tributes to their other halves:

Wenchy on her anniversary: A comment was made recently that people do not understand why we are together… I have thought about it and it is very simple: We know what it feels like to be apart. 

Cindy: “I want to do life with you” When the kids wake up way to early on a Saturday and despite being the early riser all week (so that you can get home to see us quicker), you still get up and see to them, letting me snuggle into those covers a bit longer.  

Namreen: Marriage is what happens when the dust of the grand wedding settles and the honeymoon is over and ‘real life’ begins…when the children start coming without warning or plan….when life throws you curveball after curveball…and you stand side by side, one with gloves and the other swinging a bat….through the moments you are unprepared for. The moments that throw you. The moments that make or break your commitment. ‘Cos that’s what marriage is. It’s staying committed through the storm and shaking up our snow globes each time the sparkle begins to wane..

What better way to appreciate the man in your life than to write a poem showing how every man that has gone before pales in comparison? Our resident poet, Ursula writes