August Roudup and Linky

August was Woman’s Month, and our SA mom bloggers had a lot to write about.

If you are planning a C-section birth, there are some really informative posts about that as well as migraine headaches. Plus useful questions to ask your child’s school.

There are some good perspective posts on working and stay at home moms.

There are posts to treasure on marriage and friendship. These are areas in our lives we should cultivate.

August was not only Woman’s month, we had Breastfeeding week as well, and some posts on that from different angles. There was also the Stikeez phenomenon and Dummygate.

I ended off with some interesting blogging posts from bloggers reflecting on their journey. We also have our first Daddy Blogger – woo hoo!

Now pour yourself your favourite beverage and enjoy a good read! (Posts are mostly taken from the Facebook page)

 

Pregnancy

Zoe has had enough of all the advice people give her On Saying and Doing the Right thing – and after a meltdown and reassurance from her husband had this epiphany:

And suddenly I remembered that we had planned this together, that we are an unbeatable team and could get through anything. …but I felt so much better just knowing that I won’t have to do any of this alone, no matter how it feels some days. I have an incredible husband to help me, as well as wonderful friends and family who really are full of the best intentions and some really great advice, even if it doesn’t always seem that way.

She also ponders how being a mom will change her identity in This Above All: To Thine Own Self Be True.

Can I still be sexy when I’m serving as a fetus storage unit? Can I still be eccentric and unique when I’m doing something so typically normal as procreating? How will this process of carrying a child and giving birth change the way my husband, friends and family see me? I like to think that I’m still just me, but that me is changing and will take on a new identity when I become a mom.

Shaney has a touching one about How I’ve learnt to love my body with a stunning pregnancy picture too.

Becoming a woman comes with change, even though it’s changes we may hate at first, we have to accept that it’s part of life and the road we travel. Our bodies are made to nourish the life growing inside us. Embrace it and find the beauty in your new body. You are not ruined, your body isn’t ruined. It’s beautiful.

Birth

Sharna has a blow by blow description: Cesarean Birth: Exactly What to Expect Part 1

Cassan shares Why I chose a C-section birth.

Every mom, should be encouraged to do what is right for her, and what is right for her unique situation. She should feel at peace and confident in her decisions, especially when it comes to the well being of her child.

Before giving your opinion to that newly pregnant mom about what she should / shouldn’t do. Maybe ask her first what she is wanting to do. She already has an overload of overwhelming information, to thoughts and feelings on having a baby, to being a mom.

New moms, and moms to be need all the encouragement , love and support they can get!

Parenting

New moms: a great post from Cindy: Here’s 17 Things Nobody Told you about having a baby.

Chastin has a heartfelt post: Non Functioning Day (the image says it all).

I just want a day where I can stay in bed all day watch overrated horror movies and eat all the junk I can get my hands on, not have to drive around like a mad thing or worry about lunches and supper….

Then I realise, I love the chaos, I love the laughter and the craziness that comes with my family, I like getting up earlier to make sure my kids have that cooked breakfast and I like the look on their faces at night when they are enjoying the food I have made for them and the cuddles and hugs I get when I drop and fetch them before and after school…

Then after some time a day will roll around again and that feeling of nothingness starts to grow, but I am a mom and I love being a mom and I would rather do nothing with them, I would rather watch curious George and The Avengers for the hundredth time and get up to make that 3^rd glass of juice or that 2^nd bowl of popcorn, I would rather have them argue over who gets to sit next to mommy and how one of them is taking up to much space before we all settle into a calm and lots of cuddle time…. That is my best nothing because it really isn’t nothing at all…..

I can really relate to that because sometimes you do feel like you are doing “nothing” but actually spending time with your kids is not nothing, it’s important.

Celeste has one I could relate to: So when was your last Mommy Meltdown?

Life went on but I was ok, my kids were ok and my husband was happy that I was ok. I sat with them and we chatted and I apologised and my 3 year old in the middle of my sentence says “You know what mommy? and I said What my Darling? and she said “I love you…..I need to go wee” and she got up and ran to the loo.  It was then I knew everything was going to be alright and we would all make it though this terrible parenting glitch ok.

Sharon has an informative post on What to do when your child steals or lies or cheats. She also has some great resources on the issue she has gathered.

I read an interesting statistic during my research into this topic that stated that stealing of this nature is normal and common among children aged 5 – 6 and that lying would start at around the same age. But that while the stealing would, most likely, unless there were additional underlying issues, just be a phase and fizzle out, lying tends to escalate in children up till the age of 10 when they really start understanding the consequences of lying and the merits of honesty.

On that note, Karen wants to know: Would you tell the mom if your kid steals? She has a poll going on what course of action you should take.

 

Paula writes I Die a Little Inside about how her kids are growing up so fast.

And you have no idea how it bugs me that I can’t control this. I realise this makes me sound like a control freak, but every time I say goodbye to you I die a little inside. The goodbyes get easier for you because you’re growing up. But they get harder for me because I leave you in the hands of the universe.

Laura has a good one on Six steps to building your child’s self esteem

Raising well-adjusted, confident and happy children is simple but it is also complicated and does require a lot of effort and focus. Sometimes we mess up and make mistakes but that is ok because we learn and we teach our children the value of making mistakes!

Wenchy has a touching post for her son: How can I try to explain? There was so much in this post I struggled to select just a part of it – I think you need to read the whole thing.

They don’t know how quickly you needed to grow up because you were stronger in that moment,  and when you weren’t,  I was there. A tag team when you should have been a boy.

They don’t know your support in moments of heartbreaking pain,  when you yourself was hurting. You stood next to me when we said goodbye to those we loved. You never turned away.

 

Working Moms

Celeste wrties Behind every great kid is a mom who is pretty sure she is screwing it up.

This post is not a dig at Stay at home or Work from home moms. We all have different ways to parent. And I am sure there are plenty of moms on the opposite side of the spectrum that are saying us working moms make them feel guilty for various things. I am not naive, I know this is often the case.

All I am really trying to do is affirm to myself and other working moms that we do not need to feel guilty at all, and that we are doing our very best where we can with what we have.

Sharon has a run down of her day on: I have a dream… of a simpler life.

Do you ever feel like that? Just so overwhelmed with the everyday requirements of your life? I know my situation is not unique, I’m pretty sure almost every working mom can relate to my schedule. How do we do this, day in and day out, week in and week out, month after month, year after year?

I’ve been thinking a lot about ways to simplify my life recently. I feel like I have little to no time to just be in the moment. I feel like my life is a racehorse, galloping at full speed to the finishing line  and I’m the jockey who’s foot has slipped out the stirrup, I’ve fallen and being dragged along behind my racehorse life. Does that even make sense?

Stay at home moms

Laura has an informative post on 5 things you should consider before you become a stay at home mom.

If you are thinking about becoming a stay at home mom, do your research, not on Pinterest but talk to real moms who are staying at home. Find out the realities, challenges and rewards. Go into it with your eyes wide open because if you don’t the white picket fence can very quickly become jail bars!

For me, staying at home has been a journey, not always an easy one. Some months there is nothing more to sacrifice and most days I feel completely defined by my children. I never imagined I would find myself here when I imagined my life but here I am and it works for us, as a family. 

Adoption

Julie shares Gaia’s story: ‘I’m adopted’ {Gaia Giovannini}

Gaia is a qualified social worker working in child protection and adoption and today she chats to us about her own story of adoption and shares some advice for adoptive parents.

Sharon has an amazing post : “Just Adopt” They Said

Adoption is intensely personal. It’s not something you wake up one day and just decide to do. There are so many things that need to be considered. The screening is hugely intense, if you’ve never been through the process, you can never fully understand the depth of the intense personal struggle, over the issues you are forced to address before you’ve even become a parent, you’ll never appreciate the depth of the soul searching you have to go through.

So if someone you know is struggling with infertility, please, please don’t ask them why they don’t just adopt.

Thanks Sharon. I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Health

Celeste has a really informative post on Migraine Headaches: I give you the lowdown and tips to treat it.

 

School

Mandy did quite a bit of research to come up with 65 Questions to ask your child’s new school

Of course, there was tons of other advice from the wise mommies of South Africa ~ trust your gut and your instincts when you visit a school; just because a school is well-known doesn’t mean they are doing things right; keep your eyes and ears open on a tour – what were the teachers doing, how do they interact with the kids, how do the children react to them; be conscious if a school won’t allow you to spontaneously drop in, viewing things in a controlled way may not give you a real sense of the school’s daily workings.

Friendship

I could also relate to Cassan’s post about Relating to your baby-less friends. Through many years of waiting for our child, we were the one without the kids.

I silently contemplated where I should settle myself for the rest of the afternoon. Spotting the new mums and some familiar faces in the corner, I headed that way. I took a seat and patiently listened while everyone compared stories of childbirth, colic and lack of sleep. I courageously brought up the one time my computer wouldn’t switch on but nobody got the joke. It was tedious. After hour two I switched the topic to weather in hope of a change of direction, but it soon reverted to the various sunblock “spf’s” available for 2 year olds. Turns out the best option is to paint your child in SPF 50 at least twice daily.

Cassan has an excellent post about Mom Bullies.

As moms, we need to listen to one another, encourage one another. It’s not easy being a mom, it’s hard work, and with this season of being a mom comes mom guilt. Therefore we need to have each other’s backs, and speak life, courage, and faith into the hearts of moms.

Marriage

Jozi has an insightful post: 10 Things My Parent’s Unhappy Marriage Taught Me

Never fight in front of the kids. And if you do, explain it properly. I can vouch for the insecurity and confusion that arises from seeing the parental units engaging in war with each other. Recently my husband and I raised our voices and yelled a few unmentionables at each other in front of our son. The look on his little face took me right back to being a confused 5 year old trying to comfort my mum and not knowing how. Lesson learnt.

Jonelle has her own reasons: I didn’t change my last name when I got married..

Sharon also has Marriage – My tips for staying together.

… if you do/react how you always do, don’t expect a different result.

And I think this is part of growing together as a couple and not growing apart. It takes a lot of hard work, of leaning into the relationship instead of leaning out.

Laura has a truthful post: I don’t want to see your dirty underwear!

Next time you are angry, step away from your phone, make a cup of tea, scream into your pillow, take a long bath and the decide if the best course of action is to share your anger online. I certainly don’t want to see your dirty underwear or anything private that is happening in your personal relationships.

Breastfeeding Week

Dani gives us the advantages of breastfeeding: The Benefits of Breastfeeding.

The composition of breastmilk changes with every feed and varies according to the time of day you feed, the climate, and your baby’s age, all to suit them perfectly. A mother’s milk will also vary in its nutrient level and contain greater amounts of protein and growth hormone if a baby is born prematurely, is that not remarkable? The most significant changes in breastmilk can be seen as three changes: colostrum, transitional milk, and mature milk, which occur as breastfeeding progresses.

Belinda shares Admission: I didn’t Enjoy Breastfeeding

Being a parent is already difficult in this modern world. Why make it so much harder by setting up another parameter by which to judge ourselves? You choose how long you want to breastfeed your child and I’ll choose not to judge you. Deal?

I wrote about my struggles and precious moments with breastfeeding my three year old: World Breastfeeding Week: Breastfeeding an Older Child.

There are a lot of positive and negative things about breastfeeding but this remains: at the end of a long day of tantrums and peeing in pants Nicky and I can connect in this intimate way. In the middle of the night, when he sometimes wakes up, the magic boob gets him back to sleep. And it calms me down too. Yes, there are times when it drags out too long and I get irritated, but on the whole, I’m glad that we have this. Because I know it won’t be long when he will no longer be asking for his “boobie” and my little boy will really become a big boy.

Until then I’ll cherish these moments with my son.

Dummygate

The Beckhams have been taken to task for allowing their four year old to have a dummy. Celeste writes: Thoughts on a Friday: Let’s talk about Dummygate for a second.

So for what it’s worth to other parents who may or may not have been left with a sour taste in their mouths just like the Beckhams or who may have been feeling all the more a failure and had massive pang of Mommy guilt for letting their three or four-year old suck their dummies, don’t. It’s not worth it.

Stikeez

So, unless you’ve been living under a rock, you would by now have read Celeste’s post: Larry at Pick n Pay and my wishes around a venereal disease, which begins: Pick ‘n Pay sat around and thought to themselves, “what could make shopping with kids at our store more painful for parents?” and one bright spark put up his hand and said “yes, let’s make Stikeez!”

It’s a very humourous post.

For me, they serve another use: Why I love Stikeez: Because they take attention off the trains.

So thank you, Pick n Pay, we’re grateful for these toys, but proabably not for the reasons you designed them for.

Inspirational

For all those who didn’t make the academic A grade, you’ll feel a lot better reading Stacey’s Why the World Needs B students.

That’s because Bs are capable of coming up with inspired ideas. They’re just not always on the same grand scale as the A’s. We’re what you call ‘reliable’ and hard-working. We usually end up in middle management…

Rock solid performance — that is your superpower. Be yourself. B yourself

Jonelle has Ten Inspirational Quotes that Help Keep me Motivated and Inspired!

Some nice quotes in this post from Moipone: Powerful Quotes By Women. Lovely presentation. The one below is the one I liked.

 

I loved  Yasmin’s 10 Lessons I have learned from my children.

I like her lesson in forgiveness after she shouted at them:

When I eventually got back to the couch, they didn’t side-eye me because I shouted at them; they didn’t ignore me because they couldn’t bear to have to deal with me. They came and cuddled up next to me and told me that they love me. If anything, forgiveness is about lightening my own baggage and has nothing to do with whether or not someone or something deserves forgiveness. It just really makes me feel less burdened knowing that I can be at peace when I am able to genuinely let go of things that bug me.

She had another post again with some more(Motivational Quotes By Women) . I liked this one from Mother Theresa:

Woman’s Day

Jolene has the historical background to Woman’s day in Happy Woman’s Day South Africa.

9 August 1956, 20,000 women made their way to the Union Building in Pretoria. Women came from all over the country to march to the Union Buildings to protest against the extension of government regulations to African women concerning the carrying of passes, led by Lillian Ngoyi, Helen Joseph, Sophia Williams and Rahima Moosa. Although an appointment had been made to hand the document over to then Prime Minister JG Strijdom, it was later announced that he would not see the women. Their anger was expressed in a song: “Strijdom, you have touched the women, you have struck a rock, you have dislodged a boulder, you will die.” To date, this is the biggest mass gathering of women ever held in South Africa.

Belinda has a nice post listing fantastic things about women: We are Women, hear us roar!

We are women. We soothe, we heal and we bring forth life. If anyone can make a difference in this world, it’s us.

Humour

Amelia has some fabulous Humourous Hacks.

Blogging

Laverne reveals The Dark Side of Blogging.

There are the bullies. Sometimes its aggressive and sometimes its passive aggressive. Sometimes it’s from an anonymous trolls seeking to connect through abuse and sometimes it’s through other bloggers.

She also acknowledges the positive connections she has made.

Shell Shocked Mummy has opened my life in ways that goodie bags never could.

I suddenly found myself Erin Brockovich  territory trying to change laws which I didn’t intend. It has also become cathartic to tell my stories for ME. I become braver with each post. Brave enough to be me.

Honest to goodness friends. Friends I now have coffee dates with. Friends I can call when I feel like I am failing dismally at parenting and feel like a big fraud.

Chastin shares My Blogging Journey so far

 I have done things and voiced my opinions on matters I never thought I would, I have designed and put together codes on my own and even gotten in front of and learnt to navigate a proper camera (not a digital handheld one) camera and edit footage (albeit badly) which I never in my life thought I would be able to do; but I did and it’s all thanks to this blog and the inspiration I have found along the way.

Thank you to the bloggers who inspire me every day, you will probably never realise how many people you reach.

Laura has an uplifting post: Things I have learnt from blogging.

It is not always easy and there are days I wonder why I still keep doing it but those days are few and far between. Blogging is a part of my life, it is a part of who I am. It is the one thing I have done that hasn’t failed. It is the one thing, next to my children, that I am most proud of.

Also: a real milestone for SA Mom blogs: we have our first Daddy Blogger.  He has a great post on How to Get Great Service in a Restaurant (Always)! which basically boils down to being nice to the waiter. As a former waitress myself I can fully appreciate that.

Link up your fave posts for the month! And then get commenting on the others.