I spend a lot of time in school parking lots, in fact I spend more time than anyone should really have to. School parking lots may be many things but dull is not one of them, almost daily there is some sort of drama that unfolds as the mom in her minivan (not me) tries to squeeze her huge piece of metal into a parking that is designed for a motorbike or someone steals someone’s parking or someone parks in the drop and go (my personal pet hate). If I enjoyed reality TV, I may consider making a show called “Parents of school parking lots”.
You also learn a lot about what type of parents people are by the way they deal with parking lots.
The soccer mom. This is usually a mom and she is usually in jeans, sneakers and a t-shirt. She drives a 7 seater, generally a minibus. She may not have enough kids to actually fit in the minibus but her kids play all the sports, she lifts all the kids to all the places and gives them all the snacks while doing so, making working moms build a small shrine in her honour. She doesn’t generally walk in with her kids unless she has and when her kids slide the door open to get out they are often followed by a collection of empty bottles, clothes and general riff raff in the car. She doesn’t appear to be very organised and has, once or twice, arrived late to fetch a child or two but for the most part she has her stuff together.
The organised mom. This mom will stop exactly on the drop/go line and exactly the right time. Her children are perfectly dressed, her daughter even has the school regulation scrunchy in her perfectly combed pigtails. The children’s bags are perfectly packed into the boot, as they get out they grab their bags and head out, safe in the knowledge they have a perfectly packed lunch in their labelled lunch box. This mom has her children’s time table printed out next to her desk, marked on the calendar on her phone and in her outlook calendar, she knows where her kids need to be and when and will probably know where your kids need to be too.
The frazzled mom. The frazzled mom screeches into the parking lot as the first bell is ringing, she straightens her sons tie while he is trying to stuff his convenient store bought lunch into his school bag. This mom always looks like she has forgotten something or is late for something and generally she is both. Her hair is more than likely escaping her attempts to tie it up or clip it back and if you look closely she may have mismatched shoes. She has no idea what her child has on today, she relies heavily on the WhatsApp group that offers updates on everything.
The hippie mom. Often disguised, these are the moms who walk their kids to school or arrive in the latest hybrid car. There children have bags made from recycled plastic or hemp or something else that loves the environment. Their lunches will be 100% organic, in fact chances are hippie mom grew everything they eat. She is also the mom who doesn’t really pay much attention to the time and even if the second bell is ringing relentlessly, she will still stop on the way to show her children the mating snails. The hippie mom has a pretty good grip on her child’s schedule though and encourages her daughter to join the soccer team and started a boy’s ballet class.
The know-it-all mom. This mom is not just a class mom, she invented class moms, she has a Pinterest board called “Class Moms”. She knows your name, your child’s name and all your future children’s name. She also knows where the principal plays golf, how many cats the secretary has and what medication the Maths teacher is on. She is always there. She greets everyone and will ask your child how his new dog, Rusty is. She knows who is late, who is on time and which child is wearing a second hand store uniform. The know-it-all mom doesn’t need to know the schedule, she is the schedule. If there is one mom you do not mess with, it is this mom.
The confused dad. These are dads (or moms) who, for some reason, have to drop kids off and they generally have no clue what is going on. They have a deer in the headlamps look when they get out of the car and see the frazzled mom trying to extract her offspring from the car while the soccer mom reverses her bus into the parking next to theirs. This will probably cause them to forget to take their toddlers bag or suggest their 2 year old follow that boy, he looks the same age. It is often the dads who break the traffic rules causing total confusion for the entire length of the drop off. Do not even ask this parent if they know where the gala is on Friday, they may internally combust from the pressure.
The next time you are in your school parking lot look around and see if you can spot these moms or dads.
What kind of parent are you?
(I bounce between the soccer mom and frazzled mom!)
Mandy – I am sorry you feel this way about my post. It was supposed to be light hearted and I was not labelling anyone because none of the moms I described here is better or worse than the other – just different. I have, and will keep on being, pretty much all of these moms. Sometimes I have all my ducks in a row and other times its pretty much chaos. I have friends, close friends, who fall into all of these groups. I was not judging anyone – we are all doing the best we can with what we have.
Ah Ana! The lonely mom! I have been there too. It can be very difficult to deal with, especially because your child spends so much time there. I actually only know one of the moms from Kiara’s school and the child isn’t even in her class. I also spend a lot of time sitting in my car.
I find this whole post, while trying to be amusing, thoroughly judgemental and unfunny. So what if people are disorganized or not as ‘in control’ as the next Mom? Everyone is fighting their own battles, why would I want to look around and label people according to your definitions of what is right or wrong?
I’d say the lonely mommy (lets not get the tissues out).
I’m one of those that’s starts out shy and silent (I’ve been told that at 1st impression the word bitchy comes to mind – this shocked me) but once you get to know me Im your loyal friend.
Both my boys started school this year and its been pretty sad to see clicks were already formed (mostly the moms who’s girls go to the same dance studio – they greet each other with “hi dolls”.
I’ve attempted to start some small conversation at the gates as we wait out little ducklings.The conversation ends and that’s it.A warm smile the next day and the day after that -then NIX
My other little boy goes to a special needs school – this was probably the most exciting – id be able to become friends and chat to someone who knows exactly what a mom to a special needs child goes through…sadly these moms are so used to being on constant lookout for their child or have gotten used to being on guard and on the defense (you would be surprised as to how many people will randomly come up to you and give their prognosis on your child)all the time its left very little room to cement friendships.
So i sit in my car – this is my me time- where i check the mid day emails and go on facebook.
I’ll make friends some other time.
Thats my two cents worth