Red Flags for Mothers As Your Kids Earn an Education

Today’s guest post was written by Frankie Wallace.

When you send your kids to school, you want to assume they will be safe, taken care of, and bolstered. While teachers can’t be everywhere at once, children need to know they have a support system at school and don’t have to worry about potential dangers or serious issues.

Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case.

To make matters worse, there is a teacher retirement wave taking over South Africa for a variety of reasons. That will lead to larger class sizes and increase the student-to-teacher ratio. Again, because teachers can’t be everywhere at once, that will increase the stress levels of those educators, while making it harder for your child to get the full attention they deserve.

Their teacher might not be able to pick up on red flags or warning signs that something is wrong with an individual student when they haven’t had the opportunity to really get to know their pupils.

As a parent, that makes it more crucial than ever to regularly check in with your child and to have your eyes and ears open for any unconscious issues they might be experiencing at school – especially during a time of such change.

So, what are some of the common red flags you should be looking for?

Changes in Habits

One of the most obvious signs that something is going on with your children is a change in their habits. The easiest one to notice is how they’re sleeping.

If your kids are having trouble sleeping at night or they can’t seem to stay on a regular schedule, they could be dealing with extra stress. It could be pressure to do well in school, discomfort over change, or something more serious, like bullying. Unfortunately, bullying is still a huge problem in schools across the globe and can take many forms, including:

• Physical
• Verbal
• Relational
• Prejudicial
• Cyber

If one of your kids is being bullied, they might have trouble sleeping because they’re scared or stressed. Whatever the case, it’s important to get to the bottom of these habitual changes. If poor sleep habits go on for too long, your child’s circadian rhythm could be disrupted, which could eventually lead to cardiovascular issues, and increase their risk of mental health problems.

Signs of Mental Distress

Speaking of mental health issues –  kids can get them, too!

As of 2020, 90% of South Africans who needed public healthcare for mental health issues weren’t getting it. Mental health problems can feel like a completely different type of “pandemic,” and children aren’t immune. So, it’s up to you, as a parent, to stay on top of potential issues with your kids.

That can include something as simple as checking in with them regularly. You know your kids better than anyone, so it should be fairly easy to spot changes in their behaviours or mood, especially when it comes to teenagers.

Teens face a lot of stress these days. They’re hit with adult-like responsibilities, they have a better understanding of what’s going on in the world – and have been directly dealing with the effects of COVID-19 — and they have countless social pressures to deal with. If they aren’t getting the support they need at school, they could start to struggle with anxiety or depression. You might start to notice signs like:

• Changes in eating or sleeping habits
• Loss of interest
• Withdrawing from friends/social activities

Unfortunately, they might not always know where to turn if they’re concerned about their mental health. So, talk to them about it. Let them know you’re there. Get them help if things get too hard to handle on your own. Taking a few simple first steps can make a world of difference as your child or teen gets older. They’ll grow into adults who can advocate for their mental health and manage it well.

Problems Within the School

You have every right to know what’s going on in your child’s school, especially when they’re young and vulnerable. With so many changes occurring, it’s not uncommon for your child to get stressed over disruptions in routine or meeting an influx of new people (or losing a favourite teacher).

But, if you’re worried that they might be going through more than that, consider making a visit to their school, or asking them about some of the things going on. Even in preschool settings, some of the biggest red flags to look out for include:

• A lack of routine
• Teachers shaming kids
• Unrealistic expectations
• Chaotic classrooms
• High teacher turnovers

It’s also important to feel welcome and heard, as a mother. That doesn’t change, no matter how old your children are. If your child’s school and/or teacher dismisses you regularly, doesn’t respond to emails, and disregards your questions, concerns, or ideas, that’s a problem. That doesn’t mean it’s appropriate for you to tell educators how to do their jobs. But, you do have a right to express any concerns, and certainly a right to ask questions. If you’re not feeling seen, heard, or respected, chances are your child isn’t, either.

No school system is perfect. But, if your child’s school experience is impacting them in negative ways, noticing those issues now and getting to the bottom of them will protect their future. Pay attention to red flags, and be your child’s greatest advocate and support system.

Frankie Wallace is a freelance writer from the Pacific Northwest, USA. She enjoys writing about health, wellness and education, but occasionally goes back to her roots with socially active news journalism. Frankie spends her free time cultivating her zero waste garden or hiking in the mountains of the PNW with her loved ones.

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