Today’s post is written by South African mom blogger Cherralle Alexander, from My Daily Cake who shares with us what it means to her to be a good enough parent.
Being a good enough parent is about putting an end to pursuing perfection and comparative parenting. With constant inputs around what we ‘should’ be doing, and even FOMO parenting (yes people, it is a thing), we need to draw the line. Good Enough Parenting to me is about letting go and being human. Don’t get me wrong, it is not being a negligent parent, it is about being a human parent.
Not baking those cupcakes for class bakers day? That’s okay, you can buy them from the bakery, no one will notice and your kid will still be the hero in class. Don’t have wholesome home made snacks to for the school snack box? That’s okay, throw in whatever you have, your kid will survive. Dinner is again toddler pasta from Woolworths, it’s good enough. Let’s stop trying to be perfect, and be real people.
This is what being a good enough parent means to me
- Trust your intuition; you know your child.
There is a plethora of information out there on how to raise your child, however you need to use your own intuition to understand what will work for your family and not. Trust me, I can google the hell out of ANYTHING!! But at the end, I need to know if something makes sense for my kids or not.
2. Spending quality time together.
During the week things get manic, with work, school, and everything in between. However, carving out special family time is very important. Where you can enjoy and just have fun. I always try to not have too many things booked on weekends, so that we can just hang out as a family at home.
3. Don’t try to do it all.
The myth that we need to do it all, is only myth. You can do it all, but not all at the same time, at each point something has got to give.
As an example, if you are focused on your career ambitions, then let’s be honest, it will be incredibly difficult to do the cooking, cleaning, and all bed times with your kids ALL the time. Yes, you will do some of these things most times probably, but not all time. This is my trade off, and I accept these and work with them.
4. Letting go of perfect.
Lower the standards. Do not believe everything you see on Pinterest 🙂 The pursuit of perfect parenting will come at a cost of enjoying the journey of being a parent. For me this was a hard lesson with my second child, where I expected my life to remain like how it was with my first child. I had to accept that each of my kids are individuals, I cannot expect a copy and paste, and I needed to let go of my expectations to connect and enjoy my family.
In my journey as parent I learn new things each day about my kids, my family and guidance from other moms and I am truly loving the journey (cannot say I am not right :))
My pledge is to be a responsible parent, and to enjoy my kids…they will only be this young once. What is your pledge to yourself and your kids?
I am a wife and mom, living and working in Johannesburg. I work full time and I love the fulfilment that it brings to my life. I have two daughters, and I consider it the ultimate privilege being their mom.
my daily cake is a personal blog, where I mainly speak about my life as a full time working mom.